NEW Student Photo Series 2012 COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY - SIPA Admissions Blog

NEW Student Photo Series 2012 COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY - SIPA Admissions Blog Each year students from close to 100 different countries enroll at SIPA.   For the past few years we have encouraged new students to submit pictures for publishing on the blog and it has been a great success.   New students, now is your time.   You may submit photos of anything you wish.   Travel photos, artistic photos, event photos, photos of yourself . . . anything you wish to share.   We will then post them to this blog for all to enjoy. We have Photoshop so your photos may be re-size as necessary so you don’t have to worry about size.   We typically post 2-3 photos per student so the maximum number to send along for consideration should be no more than five. To participate simply send along your photos as attachments to this address: sipa_new@columbia.edu.   We will try to post everyones submission but it may take a while for us to get to all of them so we appreciate your patience. Please include the following when submitted your pictures: Your Name Your Degree Program (MIA, MPA, MPA-DP) Where the photo was taken A brief description of the photo

Evolution Of Human Resource Management - 1263 Words

Introduction Human resource management (HRM) recognized by most organizations today as contributing strategically important functions, which contribute towards their success. Exploring HRM’s beginnings will provide insight regarding progression and development of previous practices leading to current human resource management processes and its future challenges in Canadian healthcare organizations. Prior to the 1900s, Anastakis (2006) indicates the existence of diminutive businesses that fabricated â€Å"farm implements, tools and other metal goods,† (First Industrial Revolution in British North America: 1780s to 1860s section, para 2), while ameliorations made in other areas such as â€Å"brewing, milling, textiles, and†¦show more content†¦Over time and through the introduction of the worker coalitions or unions, companies realized that they had to reorganize their approach to, and treatment of, their workforce. No longer responsible for just maintaining re cords of employees, the personnel department evolved and started substituting an authoritarian or patriarchal style with more enterprising methods that took into account the needs and aspirations of their workers, as outlined by Schwind et al., (2013). The responsibility for working with the unions also became part of the personnel department’s function and its name became interchangeable with the title â€Å"industrial relations department† (Schwind et al., 2013, p. 48), to mirror these additional responsibilities. Moreover, between the years â€Å"1960 to 1970† changes to the law governing employees’ job environment, salary, security, and well-being are implemented. This gave the personnel department sway over specific areas within the company, such as manufacturing, financial affairs and the advertising administrators as depicted by Schwind et al. (2013). Evident in the literature of the 1980s consideration is given, and focus directed, towards human resources and planning. Dyer (1983) for example, encourages the utilization of conventional and extensive methods of human resources and enfolding these into the â€Å"strategic planning process†Show MoreRelatedEvolution Of Human Resource Management1046 Words   |  5 PagesUniversity â€Æ' Evolution of Human Resource Management The evolution of Human Resource Management has transitioned from a very simple administrative function to a very multifaceted strategic function that still includes administrative, operational, and strategic tasks in the organization. In the beginning of Human Resource Management, the roles of Human Resource personnel was mainly just to hire employees, deal with compensation, benefits, legal issues, and the firing of employees. Today, Human ResourcesRead MoreEvolution Of Human Resource Management2149 Words   |  9 PagesAccording to Merriam-Webster, the term human resources started in the 1960s and is defined as â€Å"a department within an organization that deals with the people who work for that organization† (Human Resources, n.d., p. 1). In this assignment I will discuss the evolution of human resource management, workplace trends affecting human resources, strategic positioning of HR, the major objectives of human resource planning, key tools HR managers utilize to improve performance, and the challenges forRead MoreEvolution Of Human Resource Management Essay974 Words   |  4 PagesEvolution of Human Resource Management Administrative Functions The objective of the Human Resource Department is to design management systems to ensure human talent is maximized to effectively and efficiently achieve organizational goals. HR has seven functions that are intertwined. These functions are global, environmental, cultural geographic, political, social, legal, economic, and technological. Human resource management has the potential to drastically impact the success and effectivenessRead MoreEvolution of Human Resource Management7638 Words   |  31 PagesGROWTH AND GLOBALIZATION: EVOLUTION OF HUMAN RESOURCE MANAGEMENT PRACTICES IN ASIA ARTHUR YEUNG, MALCOLM WARNER, AND CHRIS ROWLEY In this introductory note, we offer an overview of how human resource management in Asian countries and corporations is evolving in the face of rapid business growth and integration into the global economy and we describe how the articles in this Special Issue contribute to new knowledge and insights regarding key issues, challenges, and evolution in the field of HRM in AsiaRead MoreEvolution Of Human Resource Management1959 Words   |  8 PagesIntroduction Human resource management has been an evolving discipline since its creation. Societal influences, organizational demands, and technological advances have all affected the role human resource managers play in an organization. This case study will recount the history and evolution of human resources from performing purely administrative tasks to becoming a strategic leadership partner, examine the main objectives of human resource management, the current trends influencing the disciplineRead MoreEvolution Of Human Resource Management2625 Words   |  11 Pagescovers the evolution of human resource management and discusses current issues and trends in the field. Changes in orientation, such as changes from personnel to human resources, administration to management, and human relations to organizational effectiveness, are covered. Utilizing the concepts and technology described can greatly improve the effectiveness of any human resources department. Ideas for future research and pra ctice are also suggested. â€Æ' Evolution of Human Resource Management KeyRead MoreEvolution of Human Resource Management in the Past Decade683 Words   |  3 PagesAbstract The paper discusses how the field of Human Resource Management has evolved over the past decade. It also highlights the specialized areas of Human Resource Management that are providing great opportunities for college students to pursue a career in Human Resource Management The field of human resource management has evolved a great deal over the past decade. Systems are far more sophisticated than they used to be which has allowed many improvements as the flow of information is muchRead MoreHuman Resource Management And The Bureaucratic Era1222 Words   |  5 PagesHuman Resource Management is a vital function in any organisation and operates in legal and social environments that are becoming increasingly complex. It is defined as the process and practice of managing and advising executives on staff recruitment, selection, retention and development (Clegg, Kornberger Pitsis 2011). In the post-bureaucratic era, these management styles have altered to cater towards satisfying employees through intrinsic rewards by providing pride, relationships, meaning andRead MoreGary Dessler Human Resource Management 14th Edition1672 Words   |  7 PagesGary Dessler Human Resource Management 14th Edition.pdf Download Gary Dessler Human Resource Management 14th Edition.PDF Now Gary Dessler Human Resource Management 14th Edition - Are you looking for ebook gary dessler human resource management 14th edition PDF? You will be glad to know that right now gary dessler human resource management 14th edition PDF is available on our online library. With our online resources, you can find gary dessler human resource management 14th edition easily without

Shirley Jacksons The Lottery - 888 Words

Symbolism is a powerful device in fiction and writers frequently turn to it in overt and subtle ways. Sometimes a time or place is symbolic of a state of being, just as ordinary objects may take on greater meaning because of what they represent: themselves, but also a condition, feeling, or manifestation of something of great importance to a character. It is also possible, however, for symbolism to expand in a way that actually provides the foundation of a work, and this is the case in Shirley Jacksons â€Å"The Lottery.† In essence, Jackson has something disturbing to say about humanity and the force of tribal ritual. To that end, she creates a world that is itself wholly symbolic, even as there are smaller elements of symbolism within it. She also develops suspense based very much on the expansive symbolism of the environment. In â€Å"The Lottery,† Jackson gives evidence of how symbolism may be utilized to make a reality entirely on its own, and present a parti cular idea. The way in which Jackson chooses to rely on symbolism as the foundation for her story is evident in the beginning of the story. Some facts are related; the date is provided, there is a time set for the lottery, and children are free from school and able to attend. These are elements of the â€Å"real world,† grounded in common knowledge and which give a sense of solidity to the scene. Whatever is happening, it is happening in a normal, American setting or community, and the normal laws of date,Show MoreRelatedShirley Jacksons The Lottery736 Words   |  3 Pagesjudge a book by its cover† could not be truer than with Shirley Jackson’s short story, â€Å"The Lottery†. Jackson’s title for the short story is in fact ironic leading the reading to assume the story to be cheerful and jolly, an assumption that could not be more wrong. â€Å"The Lottery† is about an annual lottery draw in a small town in New England. A tradition that has continued to be practiced for seventy years by the townspeople. This is not the lottery as we know it consisting of money, but the opportunityRead MoreShirley Jacksons The Lottery572 Words   |  3 PagesShirley Jacksons The Lottery   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Shirley Jacksons The Lottery is an excellent example of an allegorical short story. In this story, the reader learns of a towns lottery that takes place once a year, every year. It has been a tradition in this small rural town for many years and the villagers never question these activities, they just blindly go along with it. But what the reader doesnt know is just what kind of prize the winner is going to obtain. Jacksons use of symbolism is shownRead More Shirley Jacksons The Lottery 946 Words   |  4 PagesShirley Jackson is said to be one of the most â€Å"brilliant and influential authors of the twentieth century.† â€Å"Her fiction writing is some of the most important to come out of the American literary canon.† (http://shirleyjackson.org/Reviews.html) Jackson wrote many short stories and even some books. They are more on the dark, witchlike side, however. Kelleher explains that Jackson stated in some interviews that she practiced magic. No one really knows if she was serious while practicing witchcraftRead More Shirley Jacksons The Lottery Essay947 Words   |  4 PagesShirley Jacksons The Lottery   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  The setting in a story helps to form the story and it makes the characters become more interesting. There are three main types of setting. The first is nature and the outdoors, second is objects of human manufacture and construction and the third is cultural conditions and assumptions. These three things help the reader to understand the characters better in Shirley Jacksons The Lottery;.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  The Lottery; is started out by being described as TheRead MoreIrony In Shirley Jacksons The Lottery863 Words   |  4 PagesCaleigh Bishop English 101 October 10, 2017 Formal Essay I The Many Instances of Irony in â€Å"The Lottery† In Shirley Jackson’s short story â€Å"The Lottery,† she uses many examples of irony. Irony is the use of words that are the opposite of their usual meaning or what is expected to happen. The use of irony plays an important role in delivering Jackson’s sarcasm. The author holds our attention all throughout the story and builds our suspense by using irony with the characters and events that take placeRead MoreAnalysis Of Shirley Jacksons The Lottery954 Words   |  4 Pagesthe authors message. Shirley Jackson’s â€Å"The Lottery† displays a masterful usage of literary elements to better convey Jackson’s general purpose, such as through the deep symbolism and underlying theme; however, Jackson’s true provocation of emotion is accomplished through her quintessential use of point of view. The objective point of view is indispensable within â€Å"The Lottery† because of the creation of suspense, drama, and irony. To begin with, the first reason why Jackson’s objective point of viewRead MoreAnalysis of Shirley Jacksons The Lottery490 Words   |  2 Pages In Shirley Jackson’s â€Å"The Lottery,† the theme of the story is dramatically illustrated by Jackson’s unique tone. Once a year the villagers gather together in the central square for the lottery. The villagers await the arrival of Mr. Summers and the black box. Within the black box are folded slips of paper, one piece having a black dot on it. All the villagers then draw a piece of paper out of the box. Whoever gets the paper with the black dot wins. Tessie Hutchinson wins the lottery! Everyone thenRead MoreAnalysis Of Shirley Jacksons The Lottery1303 Words   |  6 Pagespowerful force (qtd. in AZQuotes). In Shirley Jacksons chilling story The Lottery, a town celebrates a special custom of stoning people to death every year. Jackson perfectly depicts a possible event that may occur from blindly following tra dition without evaluating the purpose or usefulness of it in the first place. Jackson’s use of plot, theme, and symbolism reveal the evil reality of blind faith, tradition, and their consequences. Initially, Jackson’s twisted plot reveals the infinite, viciousRead MoreResearch Paper on Shirley Jacksons â€Å"The Lottery†1141 Words   |  5 PagesShirley Jacksons â€Å"The Lottery† is a short story about the annual gathering of the villagers to conduct an ancient ritual. The ritual ends in the stoning of one of the residents of this small village. This murder functions under the guise of a sacrament that, at one time, served the purpose of ensuring a bountiful harvest. This original meaning, however, is lost over the years and generations of villagers. The loss of meaning has changed the nature and overall purpose of the lottery. This ritualRead MoreAnalysis of Shirley Jacksons The Lottery Essay776 Words   |  4 Pagesâ€Å"The Lottery† is a short story by Shirley Jackson, first published on June 26, 1948. The story was initially met with negative critical reception due to its violent nature and portrayal of the potentially dangerous nature o f human society. It was even banned in some countries. However, â€Å"The Lottery† is now widely accepted as a classic American short story and is used in classrooms throughout the country. Jackson’s story takes a critical look at what can result when the customs and laws that govern

The Book of Genesis vs. the Epic of Gilgamesh Free Essays

Two Different Books with Similar Stories The Book of Genesis and The Epic of Gilgamesh have many clear similarities. One major, noticeable similarity is that in both stories, there are flood legends. There is the legend of Noah and the Ark in The Book of Genesis and the story of Utnapishtim in The Epic of Gilgamesh. We will write a custom essay sample on The Book of Genesis vs. the Epic of Gilgamesh or any similar topic only for you Order Now In both stories, a higher power wants to wipe out the human race and decides to save one person who is then assigned to build an ark to hold himself, his family, and one of each animal. There are also many specifics about this flood that the two stories have in common, not just the basis of the tale. For example, both stories tell of a long storm. In The Epic of Gilgamesh, it says: â€Å"Six days and seven nights the wind and storm† (Gilg. Tabl. XI, 127). In The Book of Genesis, it says: â€Å"rain fell upon the earth forty days and forty nights† (Gen. 7:12). In both cases, the story is specific about the number of days the storm lasted. Noah and Utnapishtim make sacrifices to their respective higher power– Noah to God and Utnapishtim to Enlil. In the story of Noah and the Ark, it says that he â€Å"†offered burnt offerings on the altar† (Gen. :20) which is a sacrifice to God. In the story of Utnapishtim, it says that he â€Å"offered a sacrifice† (Gilg. Tabl. XI, 155) by pouring a libation to Ea, which is a form of spiritual sacrifice. These stories do not exist for entertainment, they serve the purpose of teaching people lessons about humankind and God or the gods. These flood legends tell us about a couple of different religious beliefs of the ancient people, one being that people are instinctually bad. A higher power wanted to wipe out the human race in both legends because humans were doing wrong. If humans were good by nature, the higher powers would not have wanted to destroy them all. The stories of these floods also show flaws in the high powers. Usually the gods or God are considered to be perfect, but in this story we see that the higher powers do indeed make mistakes. They made the mistake of creating an earth populated by flawed people. This is important because it shows that not even God or gods can achieve perfection, and humans certainly cannot. Even though this still makes the gods better than humans, no one is perfect. These two stories are also very similar in their views of humans versus animals. In both stories, the higher power assigns a man to build this ark and lead a new world with his animals. This shows his authority over the animals. Since he and his family are intended to be the only humans after the flood kills everyone else, this makes the humans the leaders of the living beings. The stories send a clear message that humans are above animals and humans have power over all animals. This tells us that animals are not viewed as equals and certainly do not receive the same respect as humans in either culture. This explains why people eat meat, have pets, farm, or anything else humans do to control animals and establish a higher power over them. Although there are very major similarities between The Epic of Gilgamesh and The Book of Genesis, there are also many differences. One of the main differences is the attitudes about sex. In The Epic of Gilgamesh, Gilgamesh sleeps with all of the women in the town that he rules. Also, after a successful journey with Enkidu, they reward themselves by having sex with prostitutes. Prostitutes are also seen as mystical and powerful. Even more different from the other story is that the gods in The Epic of Gilgamesh sleep with human beings. Sex is much more common and casual in this story. Also, because it is provided to the warriors as a reward for a successful journey, it makes sex almost a trophy. Overall, this tale makes sex out to be a spiritual, powerful, and pleasurable action. This is very different from The Book of Genesis. In The Book of Genesis, sex is not for pleasure. People are not supposed to have sex until marriage, and it is mainly for the purpose of procreation. This is very different from The Epic of Gilgamesh in which Gilgamesh sleeps with many women while unwed. The difference in sexual attitudes in the stories exemplifies how sex is viewed differently in different cultures. Some may see it as a form of pleasure, while others view it as a means for creating children. Another minor difference between the stories is the idea of immortality. In both stories, all humans are born mortal. Although Gilgamesh is 1/3 god and 2/3 human, he is still mortal because he can be killed. In The Epic of Gilgamesh, Utnapishtim is given immortality by the gods before flooding out the human race. However, in The Book of Genesis, God does not give anyone the gift of immortality. This shows how the Christian culture believes that humans are far less powerful than God and they can never be anywhere near as strong and wise as Him. In The Epic of Gilgamesh, humans can be granted special powers by the gods, and Gilgamesh himself is part god. This puts far less emphasis on the division between humans and gods than The Book of Genesis. The obvious similarities between The Epic of Gilgamesh and The Book of Genesis tell us that the people of the world coming from different cultures still have many mutual beliefs. The similarities in the stories also show how important these stories are to people, since the beliefs are so widespread that multiple different variations of the stories have been written. It is clear that the people of the ancient world believed that the world was created by a higher power in a number of days, that a higher power created the human race, humans are very flawed, and many other mutual beliefs that can be found in The Epic of Gilgamesh and The Book of Genesis. How to cite The Book of Genesis vs. the Epic of Gilgamesh, Essay examples

Ship Visit free essay sample

The purpose of the tow worthy survey was to ensure that all loose items on the barge are secured to be able to withstand the forces that could be experienced on the sea passage and that both the tug and barge were sea worthy. The surveyor took rounds daily to have a look at the existing conditions and to outline his expectations/requirements. The Fortuna had been in ZPMC shipyard since December 2010, for the fitting of a new stinger, and due to the long duration of stay in dry-dock the scope and volume of work required for the sea securing was quite large. Each anchor also has a towing pennant and a cylindrical buoy for the AHT to recover and place the anchor at the next planned location. The locations and layout of the anchors are all pre-planned. The below pictures give a brief idea of the pipe laying procedure: 1. Pipe storage area on main deck and first pipe laying firing line. We will write a custom essay sample on Ship Visit or any similar topic specifically for you Do Not WasteYour Time HIRE WRITER Only 13.90 / page Pipe laying gallery. Pipe laying firing line on main deck. Anchor bouys. Anchors. Main deck area for pipe storage. 2. Entrance of pipe into pipe laying gallery. 3. From this track the pipes are horizontally transferred onto the main pipe laying firing line. 4. Starting of pipe laying firing line in pipe laying gallery. 5. Pipe laying firing line in pipe laying gallery. 6. Tensioners/pipe clamping sets (2 ) numbers are located at the end of the pipe firing line, their purpose being to steady and align the pipes prior being lowered onto the sea bed. 7. Exit from tensioners onto stinger. 8. The pipe laying gallery also has a 250T winch, which is meant for the recovery of pipe from the sea bed to commence new connections or to lay down a sealed pipe connection on the seas bed if operations are ceased say due to say bad weather. 9. Anchor winches. 10. Anchor wire sheave assemblies on main deck. 11. Recessed areas for anchor wire sheave assemblies on main deck. 12. (6) nos pipe recovery winches on starboard main deck meant for recovery of pipe sections in need of repairs. Recovery winch. POSH Constant: Post Constant is the AHT that will tow the Fortuna to the project site and also work with her on the project over the next (2) months, photographs of the tug as attached. 1. Posh Constant 2. Posh Constant rear view. 3. Towing connection. 4. Tiger wire Towing connection. Main towing wire 5. Towing connection. 6. Towing connection. Final Departure

Free Essays on Spine

Functional Goals following SCI - Basic SCI - Functional Goals for Specific Levels of Complete Injury Level Abilities Functional Goals C1-C3 C3-limited movement of head and neck Breathing: Depends on a ventilator for breathing. Communication: Talking is sometimes difficult, very limited or impossible. If ability to talk is limited, communication can be accomplished independently with a mouth stick and assistive technologies like a computer for speech or typing. Effective verbal communication allows the individual with SCI to direct caregivers in the person's daily activities, like bathing, dressing, personal hygiene, transferring as well as bladder and bowel management. Daily tasks: Assistive technology allows for independence in tasks such as turning pages, using a telephone and operating lights and appliances. Mobility: Can operate an electric wheelchair by using a head control, mouth stick, or chin control. A power tilt wheelchair also for independent pressure relief. C3-C4 Usually has head and neck control. Individuals at C4 level may shrug their shoulders Breathing: May initially require a ventilator for breathing, usually adjust to breathing full-time without ventilatory assistance. Communication: Normal. Daily tasks: With specialized equipment, some may have limited independence in feeding and independently operate an adjustable bed with an adapted controller. C5 Typically has head and neck control, can shrug shoulder and has shoulder control. Can bend his/her elbows and turn palm Daily tasks: Independence with eating, drinking, face washing, brushing of teeth, face shaving and hair care after assistance in setting up specialized equipment. Health care: Can manage their own health care by doing self-assist coughs and pressure reliefs by leaning forward or side -to-side. Mobility: May have strength to push a manual wheelchair for short distances over smooth surfaces. A power wheelchair with hand contr... Free Essays on Spine Free Essays on Spine Functional Goals following SCI - Basic SCI - Functional Goals for Specific Levels of Complete Injury Level Abilities Functional Goals C1-C3 C3-limited movement of head and neck Breathing: Depends on a ventilator for breathing. Communication: Talking is sometimes difficult, very limited or impossible. If ability to talk is limited, communication can be accomplished independently with a mouth stick and assistive technologies like a computer for speech or typing. Effective verbal communication allows the individual with SCI to direct caregivers in the person's daily activities, like bathing, dressing, personal hygiene, transferring as well as bladder and bowel management. Daily tasks: Assistive technology allows for independence in tasks such as turning pages, using a telephone and operating lights and appliances. Mobility: Can operate an electric wheelchair by using a head control, mouth stick, or chin control. A power tilt wheelchair also for independent pressure relief. C3-C4 Usually has head and neck control. Individuals at C4 level may shrug their shoulders Breathing: May initially require a ventilator for breathing, usually adjust to breathing full-time without ventilatory assistance. Communication: Normal. Daily tasks: With specialized equipment, some may have limited independence in feeding and independently operate an adjustable bed with an adapted controller. C5 Typically has head and neck control, can shrug shoulder and has shoulder control. Can bend his/her elbows and turn palm Daily tasks: Independence with eating, drinking, face washing, brushing of teeth, face shaving and hair care after assistance in setting up specialized equipment. Health care: Can manage their own health care by doing self-assist coughs and pressure reliefs by leaning forward or side -to-side. Mobility: May have strength to push a manual wheelchair for short distances over smooth surfaces. A power wheelchair with hand contr...

Eulogy Examples and Definition

Eulogy Examples and Definition From the Greek word, praise, a eulogy is a formal expression of praise for someone who has recently died. Although eulogies are traditionally regarded as a form of epideictic rhetoric, on occasion they may also serve a deliberative function.   Examples of a Eulogy It is hard to eulogize any manto capture in words, not just the facts and the dates that make a life, but the essential truth of a person: their private joys and sorrows, the quiet moments and unique qualities that illuminate someone’s soul. (President Barack Obama, speech at the memorial service for former South African president Nelson Mandela, December 10, 2013) Ted Kennedys Eulogy for His Brother Robert My brother need not be idealized, or enlarged in death beyond what he was in life; to be remembered simply as a good and decent man, who saw wrong and tried to right it, saw suffering and tried to heal it, saw war and tried to stop it. Those of us who loved him and who take him to his rest today, pray that what he was to us and what he wished for others will some day come to pass for all the world. As he said many times, in many parts of this nation, to those he touched and who sought to touch him: Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not. (Edward Kennedy, service for Robert Kennedy, June 8, 1968) Deliberative Eulogies In their discussion of generic hybrids, [K.M.] Jamieson and [K.K.] Campbell ([Quarterly Journal of Speech,] 1982) focused on the introduction of deliberative appeals in a ceremonial eulogya deliberative eulogy. Such hybrids, they suggested, are most common in the cases of well-known public figures but are not necessarily restricted to these cases. When a small child falls victim to gang violence, the priest or minister may use the occasion of the funeral eulogy to encourage public policy changes designed to stem the tide of urban decay. Eulogies also may be fused with other genres. (James Jasinski, Sourcebook on Rhetoric. Sage, 2001) Dr. Kings Eulogy for the Victims of the Birmingham Church Bombing This afternoon we gather in the quiet of this sanctuary to pay our last tribute of respect to these beautiful children of God. They entered the stage of history just a few years ago, and in the brief years that they were privileged to act on this mortal stage, they played their parts exceedingly well. Now the curtain falls; they move through the exit; the drama of their earthly life comes to a close. They are now committed back to that eternity from which they came. These children- unoffending, innocent, and beautiful- were the victims of one of the most vicious and tragic crimes ever perpetrated against humanity. . . . And yet they died nobly. They are the martyred heroines of a holy crusade for freedom and human dignity. And so this afternoon in a real sense they have something to say to each of us in their death. They have something to say to every minister of the gospel who has remained silent behind the safe security of stained-glass windows. They have something to say to every politician who has fed his constituents with the stale bread of hatred and the spoiled meat of racism. They have something to say to a federal government that has compromised with the undemocratic practices of southern Dixiecrats and the blatant hypocrisy of right-wing northern Republicans. They have something to say to every Negro who has passively accepted the evil system of segregation and who has stood on the sidelines in a mighty struggle for justice. They say to each of us, black and white alike, that we must substitute courage for caution. They say to us that we must be concerned not merely about who murdered them , but about the system, the way of life, the philosophy which produced the murderers. Their death says to us that we must work passionately and unrelentingly for the realization of the American dream. . . .(Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., from his eulogy for the young victims of the Sixteenth Street Baptist Church Bombing in Birmingham, Alabama, Sep. 18, 1963) Using Humor: John Cleeses Eulogy for Graham Chapman Graham Chapman, the co-author of the Parrot Sketch, is no more. He has ceased to be. Bereft of life, he rests in peace. Hes kicked the bucket, hopped the twig, bit the dust, snuffed it, breathed his last, and gone to meet the great Head of Light Entertainment in the sky. And I guess that were all thinking how sad it is that a man of such talent, of such capability for kindness, of such unusual intelligence, should now so suddenly be spirited away at the age of only 48, before hed achieved many of the things of which he was capable, and before hed had enough fun. Well, I feel that I should say: nonsense. Good riddance to him, the freeloading bastard, I hope he fries. And the reason I feel I should say this is he would never forgive me if I didnt, if I threw away this glorious opportunity to shock you all on his behalf. Anything for him but mindless good taste. (John Cleese, Dec. 6, 1989) Jack Handeys Eulogy for Himself We are gathered here, way far in the future, for the funeral of Jack Handey, the world’s oldest man. He died suddenly in bed, according to his wife, Miss France. No one is really sure how old Jack was, but some think he may have been born as long ago as the twentieth century. He passed away after a long, courageous battle with honky-tonkin’ and alley-cattin’. . . As hard as it is to believe, he never sold a single painting during his lifetime, or even painted one. Some of the greatest advances in architecture, medicine, and theatre were not opposed by him, and he did little to sabotage them. . . . Generous even with his organs, he has asked that his eyes be donated to a blind person. Also his glasses. His skeleton, equipped with a spring that will suddenly propel it to a full standing position, will be used to educate kindergartners. . . . So let us celebrate his death, and not mourn. However, those who appear to be a little too happy will be asked to leave. (Jack Handey, How I Want to Be Remembered. The New Yorker, March 31, 2008)